The Number 1 Thing Holding You Back

”Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power.” ~Lao Tzu

To master ourselves means mastering our feelings and emotions, our thoughts, our words and our actions. Mastery is about progress, not perfection. It’s about working towards alignment.

Practice makes progress.

I started working with Natalie last year. She was searching for something, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what. 

The undeniable effects of stress, frustration, and discontent were bubbling below the surface. Sooner or later, something had to give.

Determined to power through, she put on a happy face that seemed to dissolve in the chaos.

The stress at work carried over to frustrations at home, which strained her most important relationships. While business appeared to be thriving, she was feeling more lost than ever. This showed up in her energy, her confidence, and her health too. 

In a state of hopelessness, her fears began to take over.

FEAR - it’s the one thing that keeps us stuck.

Boiled down, the lurking fear of failure stops us.

Fear of looking stupid, rejection, failure, and being disconnected prevents us from taking action. When we are disconnected from who we are at the core, our fight-or-flight brain kicks in to protect us.

The brain senses fear and responds in ways that drive us further from our goals, our truth, and our intentions.

As a self-identified perfectionist, Natalie had undeniable talent that helped her sustain professional success. Her finite eye for making something even more beautiful and efficient helped her win business and soar above the rest. 

But the thing that helped her soar also held her back. It kept her shackled with disappointment, and resulted in behaviors associated with “imposter syndrome”.

So what do we do about this fear?

I work with creatives, leaders, and high performers who want to bring the best of themselves into this world. The common thread that connects us is that we are human beings- we all will experience the feeling of being stuck. 

But what do you do about it? 

Understanding your intricate design can empower you to make the most of it.

If you purchase a new phone, you may not be aware of the resources at your fingertips unless you take the time to learn and understand it. The same goes for you.

You must learn your personal operating system to make the most of it.

When you understand your design and gain clarity on your goals, you become UNSTOPPABLE. Your courage, confidence, and authentic success will begin to soar.

So what stops us? Looking within takes courage, time, and vulnerability. There’s not a quick fix or magic bullet. It’s often easier to blame the people and the world around us than it is to take responsibility for ourselves.

Looking outside gives our power away to circumstance, instead harnessing the power within to create your destiny.  

Many of my clients have an inner perfectionist and inner critic. That voice has helped them optimize their work, but also evades the potential of enduring success. Success that could look like fulfilling relationships, good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, creativity, emotional and psychological stability, and peace of mind.  

Turning a spotlight on your fear

The paradox is that when you take time to be more present, uncover your blind spots, and do the “inner work”, the outer world begins to expand in abundant ways that you will also notice on your bottom line in business, too!

Turning a spotlight on your fear is a process. It takes courage and guidance to put your fears out in the open. It takes bravery to ignore the instincts you’ve followed for so long.

But the freedom you will gain is so worth it.

As for Natalie, she’s not a “recovered” perfectionist. She will always carry that part of her. The difference is she no longer leads with her inner perfectionist. She no longer lets her fear dictate her response to the world.

She now knows how to lead from her rediscovered TRUE self, which is where her power has been all along.   

I see her around town from time to time. There’s a new energy about her. She has a glow and walks with a sparkle in her step. She is UNSTOPPABLE.

So what is holding you back?